we did russians today at the end of class,
and i was so exhausted.
my jumps were higher and my landings were softer then anyone elses.
and my tilts were flawless, if i do say so myself.
accomplishment of the month.
peace and quiet,
and perhaps an empty dance studio with sunlight streaming through a door or window.
the past two ballet classes i’ve taken this week have posed a question in my mind.
several of my friends/classmates, always tell me that i make everything in ballet, look effortless. and then they ask me, ‘how do you do it?’
for some reason, i can never answer them right away. i always end up smiling, shrugging, laughing, or doing some step. and now that i think about it, i never try to make things look easy or effortless.
so i’ve been contemplating my mindset as i dance. what are my constant goals that i have so thoroughly planted in my mind, that i no longer have to completely focus on?
i’ve come up with 3 basic goals or things i always keep in mind.
the first is to elongate. i always dance to become longer, or taller, if you please. i’m always reaching out towards something, in order to keep my body aligned and create lines.
the second, is being aware of lines. i am constantly looking in the mirror, to check my lines. this is linked with the first, because the easiest and best way to keep lines, for me, is to constantly be reaching.
and lastly, i am always aware of my body placement. i always check posture, especially, then turnout from the hips and trying to keep space between every vertebrae. alot of maintenance i take is derived from analogies that i’ve been given, or from my own research. i always have a general idea where the intention and execution of movement is from.
and putting it all together, is what i believe, one of the key principals of ballet. the grace of the art. so in that, i believe that it is a given that in ballet, you should always try to be beautiful.
but i never try to be beautiful when i dance. because, i know, that i am creating art. and in that, i am beautiful.
to have desire to absorb as much as you can?
ah, i’m 15.
greeat. one year older.
the only thing i can say when people ask me what it’s like to be 15, is that i hate how that taylor swift song can apply to me. but it doesn’t. it just bothers me, lol.
it was a great night.
went to youth, painted 4 panels blue.
went to lax weith josue, hyper angie, open windows on the freeway, justin bieber blasting and thai tea boba.
there was traffic once we got to the lax u, and we parked in the wrong structure.
so we ran; angie, monica, evelyn, josue, and i; to the next parking structure. but we all had to go to the bathroom because of the boba.
after surprising rebekka, we all went to in-n-out to eat. yummm, fries at midnight!
i’m proud to say,
balletIII is always a fun class. i’ve been in alli’s thursday ballet III, 6.30-8 for 4 years now. it’s always fun and refreshing.
and helped me realize something.
i’m truly in debt.
today, gwen subbed for my 2 1/2 hours of ballet. she was great, and they were pretty good classes. she worked us really hard, and i felt like i was acutally dancing. her choreo for ballet at the end of the night was really impressive. there was a great breath and flow. all in all, accomplished night.
now, to rest.
i honestly can’t think of someone who needs to forgive me.
regardless, whoever needs to forgive me, i hope they do. i hope that i have not caused people pain, because that is never my true intention. i actually like to make people happy and laugh, nothing ever close to discomfort or hurt. so in all, i hope that whoever has something against me should find the place in their mind to forgive me.
and it was so fun.
it made me realize how much i missed jazz.
brandi has always been a great teacher, and i appreciate her personality. she hardly ever gets upset, and is always positive and upbeat-not annoying.
there was only one other girl in the class, connie kolakowski. we always have fun, laughing, playing, dancing and leaping.
i made it straight into jazz 3.
not bad after 3 or 4 years of just ballet.
because quite frankly,
your happiness matters more then mine.
all i see and know,
is the beauty of dance.
its too hot to even try to go to sleep.
D:< ohweell, im excited for tomorrow and the day after:3
one big icfrebels sleepover. i’ve known those indo kids for basically my whole life, and fridays are one of the things i look forward to. cause its the day where were all together. Its nice to know that a group of people are always there for you no matter what happens & Im glad that Im part of it :D
legion of extraordinary dancers.
i feel soo good.
i just had 3&ahalf hours of dance.
it was nice, alli taught all of my classes today. she’s one of my favorites, always fun, laughing classes.
it was just satisfying. it was so good to move, and dance again. just felt soo good to let things out, leave things behind and dance.
and now i get to come home, filled with endorphins, and just rest. chill. relax, music, youtube, ice my knee and calm down. so flyy.
i know i’ve already written to you, but you are that one person i really wish i could talk to.
we lost jen and tammy, as you probably know. i know what happened from the teachers’ view, but on cindy’s side-noone knows. it’s dying steve, your studio is dying. and noone know what to do about it. we’re all clueless. so many girls are already transferring, and were going to. what’s going to happen? i don’t know. it appears that the studio will keep going downhill. and well, it’s heartbreaking.
i guess my ultimate question, and what i would discuss with you the most is,
what’s going to happen to the studio? what do we do?
i don’t know anymore. steve, we need you. we miss you. i miss you.
you are the most beautiful,
when you are hurting.
because it forces you to be the strongest you can,
to break the boundries that would usually still stand,
and truly reveal yourself as a soldier.
its about dance
but the thing that i hope she realizes
is that it doesnt matter about her anymore
its about dance
its about this art that
we love, and cherish
and need to teach
it cannot be about her all the time,
its about art, beauty and dancers who can portray it
my favorite dance teachers are gone from the dance studio.
jen lamberty, my favorite teacher had some drama with the owner and is now gone. she’s the one who helped grow and really dance. she announced her end yesterday, and it still stings.
tammy laframboise, one of my childhood teachers has left as well. there has been too much drama. she gave me all of my basics, with a fun, positive attitude. she supposedly left yesterday, or today.
all in all, it’s heartbreaking. i was so looking forward to taking so many classes with them. but beyond classes, they were like aunts. no, just inspirations. young women who were successful dancers who you could model yourself after. each had their own personality and way of being, but were no less of amazing.
and with this, i know for sure, that the studio is dying. without steve, it’s just gone downhill. first miriam, then steve. now jen and tammy. there isn’t much hope left. there’s no more heart. the studio was overtaken by coldness. cindy, what happened? this isn’t what you used to be. this isn’t what the studio was about.
my heart is breaking.
not you too.
i’ll miss you dearly.
i will miss you so.
i can’t believe you’re leaving.
i love you so much. <3
dancer, marathon runner, choreographer.